Sunday, October 16, 2011

That Hypothetical Feeling

I've always wondered how it felt. I've always dreamed about it, I dreamed of how I could be the reason for your smile, how I could be the reason for that playful giggle, that teasing look.

I've always wondered how it felt. I have longed for the warmth of your embrace. I have been longing. Always waiting. Waiting for that moment that the sparkle in your eyes screams my name, waiting for that moment that I could be worthy.

I have always wondered how it felt. I have wondered how it felt to hear you call out my name, to feel the rush of holding your hands, to feel the blissful lightness of your hair brushing against my skin.

I have often wondered how it felt. That feeling of being loved back, of being needed of being yearned for. That feeling of reciprocity. Those feelings I've never felt.

My naivete is my downfall. I fill these gaps with what ifs and hypothetical feelings. A blanket of ethereal comfort. A deceitful warmth. An illusion.

Until that day comes when I actually feel, I'll still dream.

Dream of warmth and of love. Of how it might feel. Dream of fluttering butterflies in the stomach, of clammy hands, of teary eyes. I'd still dream of slipping that ring into your fingers.

I'd still dream of forever. With you.

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